Things Change
by navycorpsman
Summary: Ray returns to County after two years of rehab with a surprise.
1. Ray's Return

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, except Erin**

**Spoilers: "I Don't" and "The Honeymoon's Over"  
**

**Content Warning: None…right now…**

**Summary: Ray returns to County after two years of rehab with a surprise.**

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Ray sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. After two years, he was returning to County as a new attending. Things had changed since the accident. He changed; County changed. Life, he long since discovered moved on without hesitating to realise his life had changed dramatically. He smiled as he put on his jacket. For the first time, he felt alive; normal. He felt as though nothing had changed. Until he moved. The first step was always the hardest first thing after putting his prosthetics on. It was then that he was reminded that his life _had_ changed.

He leaned against the doorframe and gathered his thoughts. _How the hell am I going to make it through today?_ He straightened himself up and grabbed his keys and left.

Greg Pratt was standing at the admit desk when he looked up. "Ray!" He greeted his old friend with a hug. "Glad you took me up on my offer."

"Great to be back, Pratt." Ray smiled.

"I heard rumors that you'd be coming back, Barnett." Archie Morris shook Ray's hand in a ridiculous attempt to be cool. "Welcome back."

"Thanks." Ray adjusted his pack. "Doctor's Lounge in the same place?"

"Yeah. I'll show you where your locker's at." Pratt smiled. He walked beside Ray. "So, tell us. How was Baton Rouge?"

Ray laughed. "You should have visited." He sighed. "It was all…" The door to the lounge opened and Neela walked out.

"Ray!" Neela uncharacteristically gave Ray a big hug. "Glad you're back. Listen, I would like to talk to you when you can spare a moment."

"Easy, Neela!" Pratt laughed. "It's his first day back. Let him get back into the swing of things, okay?"

"Sure. See you around, Ray."

Ray sighed heavily. He hadn't expected to see Neela on his first day back. "So…"

"She's not been the same since you left, Ray." Pratt spoke softly.

"Yeah, Pratt? Neither have I. In case you haven't noticed, I lost my legs."

"Because you got drunk and…"

"Sure. But she made her choice, Pratt, and I wasn't it." Ray looked around. "So, which locker's mine?"

"Excuse me?" A tall blonde stood at the admit desk where Tony Gates was working on a chart.

He looked up and smiled. "How can I be of service to you?"

The blonde scoffed. "You can find Ray Barnett for me."

"He's with a patient right now, but if you need…"

"Erin!" Ray's voice rang out. "What are you doing here?"

"Not happy to see me?" She playfully pouted.

"Not at all. I told you I don't want to see you." Ray teased back.

"Well, then, I guess that's all there is then." She smiled.

"Pratt, I'm going to lunch." Ray told the new Chief of the ER.

"You have half an hour, Ray." Pratt smiled. "Make good use of it."

Ray smiled as he and Erin left. "So, what brings you by?"

"Well, I was here for the interview anyway and…"

"How'd that go?" Ray stopped at the coffee stand and got two cups of coffee.

"I start in two weeks. We'll be on opposite shifts for a while, but we can handle it, I'm sure." She took her coffee from Ray. "Thanks." They found a bench and sat down. "You forgot something this morning." She took out a ring and handed it to him. "Now, you either learn to put those things on with it on or you wake me up and I'll…"

"I couldn't wake you. You looked so beautiful sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you."

"That's never stopped you before." She wrapped her arm in his.

"Okay…no one has deserved to sleep more than you. After all the shit you've gone through with me and this move and everything."

Erin smiled. "It's okay. How's the first day back going?"

"Other than a little sore, I suppose I'm alright. I thought that I'd be used to these things by now, but as I work I find that I'm not."

"You'll be fine. But, don't push it too hard, okay? I don't want to have to worry about you anymore than I already do."

"You don't worry about me." Ray gently nudged her.

Erin smiled. "Okay. Fine. But, what will you do when you see her?"

"I already saw her."

Erin sighed. "I don't want to sound like the jealous insecure wife, but how is this going to work, Ray? You working so closely with the woman who held your heart before I did?"

Ray kissed his wife's forehead. "It'll be fine." He adjusted himself so that his arm was firmly around her shoulders. "Whatever I had for Neela is gone. She made her choice and luckily for me, I'm an idiot." Ray smiled. "If I hadn't been so stupid that night, I'd not be here, right now, with you, thinking that somehow in the midst of all this, I got lucky."

Erin stood up. "It's time for you to head back." She helped Ray stand and wrapped her arms around his waist and looked at him. "I've got some shopping left to do for the apartment, but what do you say to some Chinese take out for dinner?"

"Sounds good." Ray smiled down at her. "You're going to wear the thigh highs with the skirt, right?"

Erin smiled back up at him. "Only the thigh highs?"

"You tease me." Ray kissed her softly. "I'm off at eight, so I'll see you around eight thirty?"

"You got it." He walked off. "And Ray?"

He faced her. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

He strode back to her and kissed her again. "I love you, too and don't forget it."

Erin watched Ray walk off with a slight limp. She had worried about his first day back at the ED, but she knew he was stubborn enough to make it through. She sat back on the bench and thought about their past.

"_Jesus, Erin!" Ray shouted. "It's not that hard!" He took the guitar from her. "It's like this." He played the tune. "Try." He practically shoved the instrument at her._

_Erin stood up. "You can sit here and pretend that you're pissed off because I can't play guitar. The truth is, Ray, that you're pissed off because Melissa dumped you because you didn't want to give up the band."_

"_You don't know." Ray stood up and put his guitar back in its stand. "Melissa dumped me for Trevor."_

"_Because you didn't want to give up that damn band!" Erin turned towards the door._

"_Erin, don't." Ray's voice went soft._

_She stopped and faced him. "Ray, I know what's going on here…"_

"_No, you don't." He sighed. "Melissa was getting too clingy and I can't handle that. Jesus, Erin. I'm only 16, I don't need to have a serious relationship like what Mel wanted. She was looking at wedding gowns."_

_Erin laughed. "That's being a girl, Raymond." She sighed. "Look, I gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow in school, kay?"_

"_Ok."_

Erin wiped a tear. Ray had always overcome whatever had come his way and she knew that he would overcome this, but that did nothing to ease her fears. She stood up and headed off to find things for the apartment.

Ray limped back in the ER and noticed Gates and Morris smiling at him. "What? Did one of my legs turn around and I'm not aware of it?"

"That lady's hot. Bet you're tapping that." Morris joked.

Ray sighed. "Yeah, I'm 'tapping that'." He rolled his eyes as he headed back for the Doctor's Lounge. "Hey, Pratt."

"Hey." Greg turned from the coffee pot. "I hired an Erin Barnett today."

"Yeah, I know. She told me." Ray put his lab coat on.

"Any relation?"

"She's my wife." Ray stated matter-of-factly.

Pratt choked on a sip of coffee. "_Wife_?"

"Yeah." Ray closed his locker door. "For the first six months, I moped over the fact that Neela wasn't coming to visit me and Erin, well, she slapped me into reality."

"How long you known her, Ray?"

"That a trick question?" Ray smiled. Not seeing Pratt smile back Ray continued. "My entire life. She's my best friend. There was this moment when I thought Neela was the best friend I ever had until I got down there and realised it was Erin."

"What changed?"

"Changed? Everything." Ray faced Pratt. "With Erin, there's no games. I knew from the moment we met where I stood with her. When it came to making decisions, she learned to trust not just her head, but her heart as well. She knew what to do when an ex came by. I never had to guess what was going on with her. Unlike Neela."

"So you gave up on Neela?"

"Neela gave up on me when she chose Gates." Ray shoved his hands in his pockets. "I spent a long time trying to keep what I felt for her to myself and then when I do tell her, she shoves me away, and she made her choice. She wanted Gates and she's got him."

"Ray, Neela and Gates aren't together. She's not been out much since you left. Remember I told you she hadn't been the same since you left?" Ray nodded. "She's been mopier than any of us can possibly recall and she's not been out a lot. She…"

"Why didn't she visit?" Ray hissed.

Pratt stepped back. "Work. She put in for time off and Crenshaw and Dubenko denied it every time. She wanted to visit, Ray."

"She couldn't have called? I left my number and…" Ray slammed his fist against the locker door.

"She didn't know what to say…"

Ray angrily looked at Pratt. "That's her protocol. Never knowing what to do or say. Anything she said or did would have been fine. But, now it's too late. Whatever love I had for her at one time isn't there, Pratt."

"Ray, you can't…"

Ray stormed out of the Doctor's Lounge, grabbed a chart, and quietly worked his shift.


	2. Neela's Return

Disclaimer:See Chapter One

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Ray sat on the El train on his way home and thought about things. He rubbed his thigh and knee, hoping Erin would offer to massage the pain away. As he neared his stop, he stood and looked out, watching the train slow down.

"_Oh, come on, Ray. It's just a bloody poker game." Neela playfully jabbed his elbow._

"_Yeah?" Ray's eyes sparkled. "Well, since neither one of us has any real money to bet, let's bet something real."_

"_Like you clean the flat for once?"_

"_Haha. Very funny, Neela." Ray sarcastically spurned back._

"_I'm serious." Neela's smile faded and Ray knew she was._

"_You're always serious, Neela. You need to loosen up." Ray stood up and Neela gasped as he stripped down to just his boxer shorts. "That's much better, don't you think?" He laughed. He laughed as Neela quickly covered her face._

"_RAY! Put your bloody jeans back on!" Neela didn't know how to respond._

_Ray laughed. "Loosen up, Neela."_

Ray laughed to himself as he limped off the train. He had always been able to get Neela to blush and easily embarrass her. She had, on more than one occasion, been privy to Ray walking around the apartment in just his boxers and on a couple, wrapped only in a towel. In fairness, he didn't know she would be home early as he stepped out of the shower, but every time she saw him, he wondered if she turned away because she wouldn't be able to control herself with him or if she just didn't want to see that much of him. _Doesn't matter anymore, Barnett._ He thought as he adjusted his pack. He knew he couldn't wait to get home and take a load off of his legs.

He turned the key and found Erin unpacking. "I thought you'd be in the nurse's uniform with the lacey thigh highs."

Erin jumped at the sound of his voice. "I wasn't expecting you home for another two hours."

"They let me go early. Pratt said I looked like I was going to, what did he say? Bite it? Yeah. That's what he said. He said I looked like I was going to bite it." He smiled as he closed the door behind him. He made his way over to the table and looked at the picture Erin just put up. "You want this one up?"

"You and her are friends. We have pictures of me with my male friends, so why shouldn't that one be up?"

"It's Neela, babe."

Erin nodded as she took the picture from him. "I know. But, unless there was something between you two, I see no reason it can't be out. After all, there's this picture of me and Mikey." She held up another one.

"Yeah, but you and Mikey were roommates and best friends."

Erin placed the picture down and put her hands on his chest. "Just like you and Neela, Ray. I know that there will always be a place in your heart for her and I'm okay with that." She looked up at him. "I didn't expect you to stop loving her when you started loving me. But, please don't let her take you from me."

Ray looked deep into the crystal blue eyes of his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her close to him. "She won't."

"Good." She placed her hands on his face and pulled him down for a soft kiss. "But, if I'm not mistaken, you need a nice massage and, uh…" She winked. "Something good to eat."

Ray laughed. "Never were a subtle one, were you, Erin?" He smiled as he let her lead him to the bedroom.

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Erin rubbed her eyes as the morning sun made its way into the bedroom. She looked over at Ray, who was still sleeping peacefully. The phone was ringing and she quickly answered it. "Hello?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." A soft British accent came over the phone. "I was looking for a Ray Barnett."

"Oh. Let me wake him." She leaned over. "Ray." She whispered in his ear.

"Didn't you get enough last night?" He joked.

"Never. But, there's a British gal on the phone for you." She held the phone in his direction.

Ray sat up quickly and looked at his wife. "I can't…"

"Talk to her, Ray." Erin gave him the phone. She climbed out of bed and slipped his shirt on. "I'll get you some breakfast." She kissed him gently before leaving.

Ray sighed deeply before putting the phone to his ear. He lay back and put his fingers on the bridge of his nose, not knowing what to expect from Neela. "Hello?" He hoped he hadn't sounded as frustrated as he felt.

"Ray, Hi. It's Neela. Sorry to call, but I got your number from Pratt."

"What do you want?"

"I, uh, look, you didn't look so good at work yesterday and I thought that maybe you could use a day off and I'd cover your shift for you today." On the other end, Neela hoped she wasn't sounding as nervous as she felt.

"What do you want in return?"

"Nothing, Ray. I just thought that you could use…"

"I'm fine, Neela. I'll be in at my shift. See you then." Ray hung up before she could say another word.

Erin stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, holding a cup of coffee. "What did she want?"

"To take my shift for today. Said I looked like shit." Ray carefully sat up.

Erin walked over and sat on the side of the bed. "Here." She handed him the cup. "Maybe you should take the day off."

Ray smirked at his wife. "What would I do?"

Erin shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Help me unpack?" She kissed him. "But, you didn't look so good after work. Maybe you should…"

"I had two years off, remember, Erin? I only worked a couple days in the clinic so I wouldn't lose my skills." Ray sipped his coffee. "You know better than anyone how much this means to me."

"Trying to prove to Gates that no matter what you're still better than he is?"

Ray laughed. He had told Erin all about Tony Gates a few years earlier in one of his drunk dialing moods. He looked at her and realised that no matter who he said he loved or was dating at the time, Erin was the constant in his life. And she was never jealous. It was if she knew he'd end up being hers no matter what. "Maybe a little, but I've got to prove to myself that I can do this, Erin."

She brushed some hair off his forehead. "I know, but I do worry. Ray, you've always pushed yourself harder than anyone and I've seen how mopey you get when you don't reach perfection." She looked deep in his eyes. "You have nothing to prove, Raymond. You're a great doctor and you can now feel the pain of your patients, which makes you an even better doctor." She noticed him smiling. "What?"

"You." He tilted his head to the side and looked at her.

"What about me?"

"I was just thinking about things from growing up to now and how well you know me and how you always know what to say to me." He pulled her closer. "How you always knew that one day you'd win my heart."

"I had your heart when we were five, Ray." She laughed. "Don't you remember?"

Ray laughed. "I do, actually."

_"Momma!" Ray ran through the house. "MOMMA!"_

_Rose Barnett came out of the kitchen, wiping the last dish. "What is it, Raymond?"_

"_I met her."_

"_Who, honey?" Rose put the dish down and scooped her five-year-old son in her arms._

"_My wife."_

_Rose laughed. "You're five, Ray. You shouldn't think about marriage at your age."_

"_Momma." Ray pouted._

_Rose smiled. Even at this tender age, the pout was working its magic and Rose fell victim to it. "Okay. So when do I get to meet the lucky lady that's going to marry my son?"_

"_Rose?" Mary Cornell's voice echoed in the entryway._

"_Back here, Mary."_

_Mary Cornell came in, holding her daughter's hand. "I see, Rose, we have a wedding to plan."_

"_I say we do." Rose smiled._

Erin laughed, her face in Ray's chest. "We were married before we were even old enough to even understand what it meant."

"I think my mom still has some of those pictures." Ray softly stroked her hair. "God, that was…I look back at it now and realise how much our mothers loved us, ya know?"

"Yeah. They let their kids get married at ages four and five." She saw Ray reach over for the phone. "Calling Mom?"

"Nope. Neela. I think I'll take her up on her offer after all." He smiled.

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"Greg?" Neela's voice made Pratt jump. "Sorry. Didn't mean to make you jump."

"It's okay. You covering for Ray, then?"

"Yeah. He looked awful yesterday." She crossed her arms. "Listen, a lady answered his phone."

"What am I to do about it?" Pratt turned back to his chart.

"Nothing. I thought maybe you'd know a little about it."

"That's not my place to say. You want to know who she is, ask Ray."

"Right." Neela sighed. She made her way to the roof and thought of Abby and Luka's wedding, two years earlier.

_Neela looked at the CD Ray handed her. " What's this?"  
_

_Ray smiled. " It's for you. I started doing a little bit of recording again, on my own, and it's got some songs I've been working on."  
_

"_Yay, it's great."_

_Ray faced the window. " There's one about you, that you'll have to figure out. Plus a few others, you know, some songs we used to listen to when we were roommates."  
_

_Neela looked between Ray and the CD before settling on Ray. " I'm sorry, Ray."  
_

"_About what?"  
_

_Neela sighed. "I thought I was coming alone and he just turned up, I...I didn't know what to do."  
_

"_No offense, but uh, not knowing what to do has become your base line."  
_

_Neela knew he was right, but she continued. "This isn't easy for me, Ray. I've had a pretty hard time ever since...losing Michael, I still haven't quite…"  
_

"_Yeah, I know." Ray was more understanding then she thought he'd be._

"_I mean, Tony was new. There's no history. He didn't make me think about things from before. Maybe I rushed into it because it made moving on easier." She tried to explain.  
_

_Ray looked at her confused. "So I feel like history to you?"_

_Neela knew she needed to explain better, so she went on. "Well, I couldn't separate you from Michael. I couldn't be with you and not feel guilty."_

_Ray nodded. "What about now?"_

"_Now?" Neela felt him gently rubbing her wrist. She looked up at him and smiled. "Not sure all that matters anymore." (1)_

She put her face in her hands and cried. Something had changed, she was sure, but she didn't know what.

**(1) Obviously, this was taken right from the show. Had to have a 'real' Rayla flashback. Credit to the ER writers for this scene.**


	3. Erin's Friendship

Disclaimer:See Chapter One

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Ray held up a figurine. "Uh, where do you want this and why in the world do you want to keep it?"

Erin looked over and took the figurine. "Your mother gave this to me for high school graduation."

"Right. Valedictorian." Ray laughed as he tore the box apart. "I think she got that for you so you wouldn't think too highly of yourself."

Erin smirked and looked at him. "Oh, no. I didn't need your mother for that. I had you."

Ray feigned surprise. "Me? Little old innocent me?"

"Innocent, my ass." Erin opened another box. "You remember senior prank?"

Ray laughed hard. "Do I ever!"

"Yeah. Little innocent Ray Barnett pulling a stunt like that. I think it took them ages to figure out how you managed to get his car in the classroom."

"Well, Mr. Strivecky had it coming, the jackass." Ray sat down on the couch and rubbed his thigh. "He was going to fail me because he didn't like me."

Erin sat next to him. "He was going to fail you because you didn't do the homework."

"It wasn't my fault that the band had to practice." He playfully defended.

"Every night?" Erin laughed. She leaned over and kissed him. "You know how proud I am of you?"

Ray smiled. "Yeah, I do." As he leaned in to kiss her again, a knock at the door stopped him. "Who the fuck?"

"I'll get it." Erin stood up.

"Hey, I'm missing my legs but that don't mean I'm a cripple."

Erin flashed a smile at him. "Yeah, right, Dr. House." She opened the door and saw Neela standing there. "Can I help you?"

Neela looked up at Erin and back at the paper in her hand. "I'm sorry. I've got the wrong address. I should go."

"You must be Neela." Erin's soft Southern accent made Neela turn back around.

"Pardon?"

"I was just saying you must be the Neela Ray's talked so much about." Erin opened the door. "Won't you come in and join us for some lunch?"

Neela hesitantly stepped towards the door. "I don't have a lot of time. I'm at lunch."

"Don't worry. I'm sure they've got someone covering for you." Erin smiled and held her hand out. "I'm Erin."

Neela shook her hand. "Nice to meet you too, but I really should go. I don't…"

"Neela?" Ray's voice was colder than Neela had ever remembered it being. "It's not nice to refuse an invitation from a Southern belle. Please join us." His voice never became warm and Neela found herself confused.

"Right, then." Neela walked in. "I got your address from Pratt. Said I really needed to talk to you." She looked around. "This is nice."

Erin closed the door. "Would you like some tea?"

"Oh, no thank you." Neela looked at Ray, who appeared to be glaring at her. "You know, I think I'll have some, thank you."

"Why are you here, Neela?" Ray's voice was now accusatory with the cold.

"Pratt said we needed to talk." Neela crossed her arms across her chest and pulled her shoulders in.

"Here you go, hon." Erin handed Neela a glass.

"What's this?" Neela looked at the glass.

"It's tea, Neela." Ray walked back to the kitchen.

"I thought when you said tea, you meant hot tea." Neela smiled.

Erin smiled back. "Honey, I'm from Louisiana. Ain't nothing hot there but the weather." She waved towards the couch. "Why don't you and Ray have your chat and I go pick us up some lunch?" She looked at Ray, who stopped pouring his tea. "I'll be back in about a half hour. You two talk and talk good." She gave Ray a quick kiss. "And be nice, Raymond." She whispered.

Ray sighed as she left. He sat in the chair opposite of Neela. "What do we need to talk about?"

"It's not important. I should go." She put her tea down and stood up. She was amazed to see how quickly Ray stood up.

"You're not doing this again, Neela. You said we needed to talk and every time you have ever said that, you have walked away and we never talked. You're sitting your ass down and we're talking!" Ray's frustration was beginning to show.

Neela did as she was told and sat on the couch. She looked at him. "You've changed, Ray."

"Of course I've changed. I lost my legs and half of my dignity and now…" He suddenly clamped his mouth shut.

"And now what, Ray?"

"You come back and say 'we need to talk' and I don't know anymore, Neela." Ray sighed.

"Erin's nice." Neela tried a change of subject.

"Yeah? That's because she's everything you weren't, Neela." Ray hissed.

Neela felt her hair rise at the tone of us voice. "What's that mean, Ray?"

"She never played games, Neela. She never didn't know what to do when an ex showed up out of nowhere. She never said one thing and did the complete opposite. She was honest with me and honest with herself."

"Ray…"

"I was able to tell her what I was never able to tell you, Neela. She thought with her heart and her head. You always thought the safest route was the way to go. Never once took a risk."

"I took a risk to be here this afternoon." Neela hissed back. "I told you everything I needed to tell you and…"

"IT WASN'T ENOUGH!" Ray yelled. "You left me for Gates. You made your choice and you expected me to be there for you when you discovered the truth. I'm sorry things didn't work out between you two, but I wasn't going to sit around and wait forever for you. I moved on with my life, Neela. I went back home and I met up again with Erin. She's the one that slapped me out of my self-pity mode. I was moping because there wasn't so much as a call or a letter from you. That made it quite clear where I stood. After all, you had time to write Michael and…"

"DON'T YOU BRING HIS NAME IN THIS!" Neela yelled back, tears threatening to brim over. "I loved him and I loved you, but now…" Neela made her way to the door. "Go to hell, Ray." She opened the door, surprised to see Erin standing there.

"Back inside, Neela." Erin softly demanded. Neela resignedly headed back inside. Erin looked at Ray. "Ray, we need some more groceries. Would you go buy some?"

"Erin, I can't…"

"Ray. Go get groceries." Erin's voice was a little more demanding. Ray huffed and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"How long were you out there?" Neela wiped a stray tear.

"Long enough." Erin sat down. "Look, Neela. I know all about you and Ray. I know how shattered you left him. I know how he blames you for the fact that he lost his legs."

"Me?" Neela sat down on the chair, surprised.

"Yes." Erin leaned forward. "He thought that if you had made it quite clear before the fight, he wouldn't have gone off to another bar and gotten drunk. If you hadn't called him…if you hadn't left the message. All sorts of things, Neela. He blames you."

"But I…"

"You never made it clear to him." Erin sighed. "When Ray came back home, I knew he was in love with you. Everyone did. But, after six months of watching him pine for you, I couldn't take it. Someone had to knock him about." She sighed. "Look, the three of us are going to have to work together somehow. I don't see why it would have to be hard and awkward. We're all adults."

"Do you blame me?" Neela looked up.

"For his legs? No. That was Ray's own doing. For breaking him, yes, I do blame you. But, Neela," Erin stood up. "If I didn't want Ray to be around you, I wouldn't have pushed him to accept this position. He wanted to stay in Baton Rouge. It would have been less pay and he wasn't happy there and his happiness has always been top priority for me. His happiness, for some reason, is here in Chicago. I want him to be happy. I want the three of us to be grown ups and try to be friends."

"How long have you and Ray been married?" Neela looked back to the floor.

"Six months. It's not been easy. I suppose you know about his mood swings." Erin smiled.

Neela looked up and smiled back. "Yeah. But, he's always been there."

"Ray's a good guy." Erin faced Neela. "I didn't expect him to stop loving you when he started loving me. I know that there's a place in his heart that will always be yours and that's why he has to be here, why he has to deal with you. He has to know that. He doesn't know that I know. Whatever you do, Neela, be nice to him. Don't hurt him."

"You either." Neela stood up. She had gone from hating the woman Ray had married to rather liking her. "I'll hurt you if you do." She laughed.

"Take that as my warning as well." She helped Neela to the door. "And, Neela?"

"Yeah?" Neela faced her.

"Don't push me either. I will fight for Ray if I have to."


	4. Erin's Threat

Disclaimer:See Chapter One

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Erin looked at Neela. "I mean it." She closed the door and stepped into the hallway. "I've been with Ray through it all. Every whore. Every one night stand and every girl he's ever been in love with."

"Why'd he fall in love with me and not you?" Neela felt the cat in her beginning to come out.

"Oh, honey. He didn't love you." Erin laughed. "He what? Said you were the best friend he's ever had?" Neela stared at Erin, which made the latter smile. "Of course he did. Every girl he's had eyes on has heard that line. I've heard that line. Ray doesn't say he loves someone unless he means it." Erin stood closer to Neela. "He loved you, but not in the way you want to believe he did."

"You're a bitch." Neela snarled.

"Maybe, but I want you to know that I love Ray and he loves me and if I have to, I'll fight for him. You seem like a nice woman and I would like to be friends, but don't try to take Ray from me, otherwise you will see what a bitch I can be." She went back inside, leaving Neela wondering about her words.

"Still here?" Ray's voice echoed down the hall.

"She's a bitch, Ray. Just like Tony."

Ray stood staunch. "Don't you EVER call my wife a bitch again, Neela." His voice was soft, but harsh. "Just because you can't…"

"Look, Ray. I'll try to be nice and friendly because I still care about you, whether or not you believe it, but if she so much as…"

"Leave it, Neela." His voice was now threatening. "I'll see you at work tomorrow." He watched Neela leave, a small part of his heart breaking. He knew he still cared about her, but the woman who held his heart was inside and he knew her bitchiness was ready to come out. Erin had never liked it when a man yelled at a woman or was, in the slightest of ways, harsh. For her to have sent him out for groceries, he knew she had heard what he and Neela had been talking about. He sighed heavily before thinking about going in. He opened the door, expecting her to jump his case the minute he opened the door. "I'm home. Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. You see Neela before she left?"

"Yeah." He put the groceries on the table. "You are amazing, you know that?"

"Doubt that." Erin started to put the groceries away.

"No, seriously. One minute you're the sweet charming Southern belle and the next you're a bitch." He flinched as she reached over for the can of corn.

"Just like my mother." She smiled.

"Is that such a good thing?" Ray laughed. "No offense, but I don't want to see your ass the size of your mom's. Otherwise, I'd have to leave you for that super skinny super model." He teased.

Erin playfully threw the plastic sack at him. "And if you end up like your poppa, I'm leaving you for Pratt."

"Ouch!" Ray grinned.

Erin faced him. "I heard what you said to Neela."

"Erin…"

"I don't care what she's done to you, Ray. You don't ever talk to anyone that way. You can't blame her for your legs, babe. You got drunk and walked in front of the truck."

"She never let me…"

"If you ever talk that way to her or me or any other woman while I'm around, it won't be only your legs you're missing." As if nothing happened, Erin smiled at him. "But, your momma raised you better and I know you won't. Now…" She walked over to him. "I'm sure your legs are hurting. What about taking a load off?" She kissed him.

"Ya know, I was just thinking that I needed to lay down." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

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Pratt looked at Neela as she walked back in. "Everything okay?"

"His wife's a bitch." Neela slammed the door of her locker.

"Whose wife?" Gates interrupted.

"Ray's." Neela sat down on the bench. "Erin. She's a real…you know what she said, Greg?"

Pratt sat next to her. "No, what did she say?"

"She told me not to push her because if she had to fight for Ray, she would."

"Wait. Barnett's married?" Gates could hardly believe what he was hearing.

"Yes. Six months. To an old friend of his from Louisiana." Neela's voice was full of pain and rage and, Pratt swore, a bit of venom.

"Wow. Who knew?" Gates smiled. Secretly, he was happy because now Neela could see the truth of who Ray Barnett really was. "I'm sorry, Neela."

"No, you're not, Tony." Neela looked at him. "You're actually happy because you never liked Ray and wanted nothing more than to keep us from being together and now that we can't, you're gloating inside." Neela spat. She wiped her eyes. "I've got work to do."

Pratt looked at Neela, remembering the last time she was this torn apart was when Michael had died. He hated it then and he hated it now. He hated that, like four years earlier, he couldn't fix it. "Get to work, Gates."


	5. Abby's Confrontation

Disclaimer:See Chapter One

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Neela made her way to the roof. The past two weeks had really been hard on her. She had to deal with Ray on a few traumas and she had to try to separate him from his wife and now today, she had to deal with Erin. Neela looked over the city. She had to deal with Erin on a MVA and, despite what a bitch she was, Erin was a great doctor. Even Neela had to admit that.

"You okay?" Abby's voice made Neela jump.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She looked back at her friend. "I had to deal with Ray's wife today."

"I saw. Tough?" Abby crossed her arms and stood next to her friend.

"I'll grant that she's a great doctor, but she's such a bitch." Neela wiped a tear. "She just has her claws in Ray and he…"

"He loves her." Abby shrugged as she sighed.

"He loved me at one point, Abby." Neela looked down at the ground. "What's changed?"

"A lot of things, honey. He lost his legs and that can cause someone to change." Abby looked at Neela, who was glaring at her. "I'm not saying he's not wrong, but he has changed. His life was changed in a way that neither one of us can even imagine."

"Do you think it would have made a difference if I pushed harder for time off?" Neela leaned against the railing. "Or if I made the call or written a letter?"

Abby leaned next to her and looked down over Chicago. "Who knows?" She looked at her friend. "Just don't jump, okay?" She smiled.

Neela smiled back. "Okay."

Abby left Neela on the roof and went back to the ED to look for Ray. When she found him at the Admit Desk, she grabbed his elbow. "Talk. Now."

Ray may have been gone from County for two years, but he knew when Abby meant business. "What?" He asked as they entered the Lounge.

"Do you know what you're doing to Neela?" Abby crossed her arms and accusingly looked at him.

"Oh, so it's not about what she did to me. The games she played. How she strung me along. I was stupid. I lose my legs, go home, and see Erin. I come back and everyone expects things to be as they were?" Ray scoffed. "If she had just let me know sooner what she felt, maybe, just maybe, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation."

"She's crying, Ray."

"I don't give a shit anymore, Abby. Let her cry. Do you know how many tears I cried over her?" Abby shook her head. "Nah, I didn't think so. Everyone's so quick to jump my shit when I come back for 'playing games' with Neela, but nobody knows about the games she played with me." Ray headed to the door.

"Ray…" Abby started.

"Conversation over."

Abby chased after him. "This conversation is _not_ over, Ray Barnett, and you know it."

Ray stopped in his tracks. "Look, I've had enough of everyone telling me how much Neela is hurting. I'm sorry for it, but the fact is that she played so many games with me, Abby that I just…"

"Why are you so angry and so bitter?" Abby pulled him back into the Lounge. "I always knew you had a mopey side, but this? This isn't the Ray that left."

"HE DIED!" Ray yelled. "That 'Ray', that 'I don't give a fuck' Ray died when the truck hit him. This is the Ray that is now. Jesus, Abby." Ray fought the urge to hit the fridge. "When that truck hit me, the life I had before, everything, was gone." He sat on one of the couches. "The only time Neela ever dared to see me was when I was here, and after she saw the double amp, she was gone. When I saw the headlights, I could only think of her and how she didn't know that I loved her. I could only see her and knew she didn't love me back. At that moment, the moment of impact, I didn't care if I lived or died."

Abby sat next to him, fighting tears. She had never seen this side of him before. "It's okay, Ray. You've got…"

"No, it's not okay, Abby. I have a wife and everyone expects me to still love Neela as though nothing's changed. I still care about Neela, but whatever love I had for her two years ago, isn't there. It's not what it was." He stood up. "I have known for a long time that I really belonged with Erin."

"How long have you known Erin?" Ray sighed at the question. He was sick of people asking him that. Abby heard the heavy sigh and looked at him. "What?"

"I have known Erin since I was three. In fact, when I was five, we had a little wedding in my backyard, under the live oak tree." His anger subsided when he heard Abby giggle. "Yes, Abby. Erin and I were married when we were five. I think I might be able to convince my mom to send some photos."

"I'm sure she was a beautiful bride." Abby couldn't control the laughter.

Ray found himself laughing along. "From the photos, yeah. She got all dolled up in her confirmation dress, which had a veil, and her dad performed the ceremony." Ray stopped at the door. "I knew, Abby, that I was going to marry her."

"What about Neela?"

Ray sighed. "Erin was dating Brandon Griffith at the time, and I thought I was wrong. Maybe she wasn't the one. Neela…well, Neela was…is…perfect. She made me a better person and a better doctor, and I do know that." Ray pointed at Abby, who lifted her hands up in surrender. "But she didn't love me back. I kept hoping and at your wedding, I thought that maybe she'd admit that she did, but I was wrong. When I went back home, Erin had broken up with Brand and she spent a lot of time at the house. She told me that she knew that no matter what, I'd always come back to her and she and I would be married."

"She knows about Neela?"

"Everything. She knows I had strong, strong feelings for Neela and you're going to see how Erin responds to girls she has always viewed as rivals." Ray sighed. "Even though I married Erin and look forward to growing old with her, she sees Neela as a threat."

"So why come back?"

"Erin thought it would be good for me. She wanted me to live where she knew I'd be happy. I wasn't happy in Baton Rouge and she knew me well enough to know that. I can't say that if it had been Neela, we..." Ray turned and looked at Abby. "Oh, Jesus, Abby."

"What?" Abby uncrossed her arms.

"Do you think Erin convinced me to come back so she could meet Neela?"

"Don't know." Abby shrugged. "I just don't know."


	6. Neela's Near Confession

Disclaimer: See Chapter One**  
**

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Ray sat back down next to Abby. "Jesus, Abby." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Erin the jealous kind?"

"No. Never." Ray sighed. "Well, maybe with Stacie, but that was different."

"How?" Abby crossed her arms.

"I loved Stacie."

"You loved Neela." Abby's voice was soft, harsh, and demeaning all at the same time that Ray was confused and he looked at her. "Don't deny it, Ray. I saw how you looked at her and how you looked after her. You loved her at one point, Ray. What changed?"

Ray stood up. "I told you, Abby."

"No, you didn't. You said you lost your legs. Did you lose your heart in the accident as well or did you ever have one?" Abby stood up.

"You don't know everything, Lockhart."

"It's Kovac." Abby replied.

"Okay, _Kovac_." Ray retorted. "Yes, I loved Neela at one point, but again, Abby, when someone constantly plays games with you, you fall out of love quickly."

"Still so bitter. Don't you think you need to let go and move on?"

"I have. I married Erin and I'm happy." Ray straightened up.

"Yes, you did marry Erin, but I doubt you're happy. After all, you keep talking about what Neela did to you." Abby put her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. "Either you and Neela talk about what you did to each other or you quit whining about it, Barnett. Either way, I don't want to hear another word about how Neela hurt you because you've hurt her."

Ray watched as Abby left. He knew he was bitter towards Neela and he felt he had every right to be. He sighed as he headed out for another chart.

"So, any plans tonight?" Ray asked Morris at the desk.

"Me and Hope are going to go look at churches."

Ray stifled a laugh. "Churches?"

Morris stiffened up. "Yes, churches. You've been gone for so long you don't know." He looked at Pratt. "He doesn't know? He doesn't know."

Ray smiled. "Know what?"

"Hope and I are getting married." Morris watched Ray tilt his head back with a laugh of disbelief. "No. No. We are."

"The world is getting desperate." Gates placed a chart down. "First some bitch from Louisiana marries Ray and now a hopeless dumb blonde is marrying Morris. Where does the gene pool for losers end?"

Ray put a hand on Morris' chest to stop him from hitting Gates. "It ain't worth it. _HE_ ain't worth it, Morris."

"That's right. Because you don't need to go and get drunk and lose your legs either." Gates smirked, looking at Ray. Ray sighed a heavy sigh. He turned to go, but Gates prodded him. "Does Neela know what a real loser you are? Does she know your damage?"

Ray turned around. He was going to say something when he saw Neela standing behind Gates, a chart in her hand, and Erin, next to her, the other half in her hand. Ray smiled. "That's right, asshole. I am a loser. But, at least I'm a loser with a little bit of respect around here."

"Nobody respects you, Ray. They feel sorry for you. Every time you walk by, they always look at you with sorrow. No one respects a cripple."

Pratt and Morris stepped in. "Now's not the time or the place." Pratt pushed Gates away.

"Oh, trust me. This is the perfect place." Everyone turned and faced Erin, who was red in the face.

"Shit." Ray whispered.

"What?" Morris asked.

"Erin's red in the face. She's not happy." Ray looked at his wife. "Rini, this isn't the pla…"

"Stuff it, Ray." Erin yelled. She turned to Gates. "Listen here you arrogant prickish asshole. The fucking world does not revolve around you." She stepped closer and as she did, Gates realised how tall she was.

"Never said it did." Gates swallowed hard.

"You don't have to say it for us know you think that way." She pointed a finger in his face. "I ever hear you call my husband a cripple again, I'll fucking cripple you so you won't know where your ass begins and your head ends. You got me?"

Ray put his hands on his wife's shoulders and started to gently pull her away. "It's okay, Rini."

Erin looked hard at Gates. "I mean it." She wiped an angry tear away and snatched the chart from Neela. "He ever says anything to you, Dr. Rasgotra, let me know. I'll be more than happy to kick his ass for you."

Neela looked at Erin. "I can take care of Gates myself."

Erin huffed. "Obviously, you can't." She looked at her rival. "He's insulting Ray, a guy you claimed to have once loved, and you just stand there, like someone shoved a stick up your ass."

"Erin…" Ray started.

"I don't get it, Neela." Erin ignored Ray. "I just don't…"

"ERIN!" Ray yelled.

"What?" She snapped her head around and glared at her husband, who was glaring at her.

"It's time to stop." He tightened his grip on her arm and dragged her into the Doctor's Lounge. "Whatever happened to 'I don't want to sound like a jealous and insecure wife'?"

"He was insulting you. And you were letting him!"

Ray sighed. "I'm where I'm at because of a fight with him. If I hadn't…if Pratt…Jesus, Erin. You've got to stop this shit."

"What? Protecting you?" She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter.

"You're not protecting me, Rini. What you did with Steve, that was protecting. This?" He pointed towards the door. "This is just making you and me look like asses."

"Steve had it coming, as did Gates." Erin walked over to Ray and gently put her hands on his chest. "I refuse to let anyone insult you, especially since you can't defend yourself."

Ray put his hands on hers. "I can defend myself, Rini. It's not just about being the toughest or the quickest for me anymore. I didn't lose my tongue." He looked down at her and laughed. "Quit. Get that thought right out of your head."

Erin laughed. "Hey. You said it, not me."

"Still, I can handle myself just fine, okay? You're not always going to be here when I need my wife to start kicking asses for me."

"I'm sorry." She stroked his cheek tenderly.

"I know." He leaned down and kissed her. "But still, the look on Gates' face when he realised you're about as tall as he is!" Ray smiled.

"He looked scared." Erin agreed. "But, unless he has it coming, I'll leave him be for you."

"That's all I ask." Ray smiled. "Now, let's get back to work."

"I'll be out in a minute." Erin patted his chest softly.

"Okay." Ray turned and left.

Erin sighed. It had become quite the day for her. First, the phone call from Baton Rouge and now Tony and Ray. She was thankful that her shift was only for two more hours and then she could go home and enjoy that hot bath she was longing for. She checked to make sure that Ray was out of sight and out of range before going to her locker and getting the cell phone that Ray didn't know she had. She dialed the number and waited. When the receiver didn't pick up, she left a message. "Hey, Brand. It's Erin. Got your message. I think it's a great idea. Um, I have to go back to work, but, um, give me a call back when you can. See ya!" Erin clicked the phone shut and went back to work.

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Neela looked at Gates after Ray and Erin entered the Doctor's Lounge. "Happy now?"

"For?"

"Why do you do that?"

Gates looked at her perplexed. "Do what?"

"Act like a real wanker." Neela took a step towards him. "You stand there and you don't know…you don't realise anything."

"Mayday, you're…OUCH! Why'd you slap me?" Gates put his hand on his cheek.

"I told you to never call me that again and because you're an arrogant asshole. If you had just walked away like Morris said, Ray wouldn't have been in that accident."

"You're blaming me?" Gates was stunned. He was the one that got drunk and tangoed with a truck…OUCH! Stop slapping me." He grabbed Neela's hand.

Neela felt the sting of tears. "My God. What did I ever see in you?" She wiped a stray one, unaware that Ray was standing behind her. "I should have never gotten involved with you in the first place."

"Then why did you?"

"Because I couldn't be with Ray knowing that I loved him more than I did my own husband." Neela wiped some more tears. "You were safe for me. You had no history with me and I couldn't bear…" she sniffed. "I couldn't bear to hurt any more than I did if Ray didn't love me back. He's more of a man than you'll ever be. No one here likes you, Tony, and, yes, we feel sorry for Ray, but not because he's a cripple, but because he has to deal with you."

"Neela…" Gates reached towards her.

"Just leave me alone, Tony." She turned around and looked at Ray, who had a stunned look on his face. "I'm sorry, Ray." Neela quickly walked away, leaving everyone within earshot stunned.

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Ray walked into the apartment, tired and worse for wear. It had been a long day and all he wanted was to take a shower. "Erin? You home?" He yelled.

"In the bath!" She yelled. "You coming?"

Ray laughed. He put his bag on the couch and took his shirt off. "You'll have to help me out of these things." He slowly walked to the bathroom. "Ah. Champagne. Candles. And Nat King Cole." He walked over to her and knelt down to kiss her. "Sounds like someone is in a rather sexy mood."

"Hard day." She kissed him back. Erin sat up. "Here. Let me help."

Ray couldn't believe sometimes how lucky he was with Erin and after hearing what Neela said, he knew that tonight, he was going to enjoy his wife. As he slipped in the bath behind her, he could only hear Neela's words. _I couldn't be with Ray knowing that I loved him more than I did my own husband._ He rolled his head in an attempt to get the words out of his head. "Sorry? What did you say?" He looked up at Erin, who was straddling him.

"I asked if you remembered the first time you and I had sex in a bubble bath." She seductively smiled.

"No, not really. I've had a lot of sex in a lot of bubble baths." He flinched as she playfully slapped his arm. "Just kidding!" He laughed. "Of course I do. I remember a lot more than you give me credit for." He slid his hand up her back. "Want a repeat?"

Erin giggled as his free hand rubbed her thigh. "Oh, yeah." She breathlessly replied. "Do I ever!"

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"You told everyone in the ER?" Abby handed Neela a cup of coffee.

"It was after Tony insulted him. I couldn't even defend him when he was there. He had to drag Erin away before I could even tell Tony off." She looked at her best friend. "What's wrong with me?"

"You're not the defending type. You're the type that guys defend." Abby sat on the couch, cross-legged. "What did Ray say?

"He didn't say anything. He just looked at me like I was some bloody tart or something. Why couldn't I have told him years ago that I loved him?"

Abby reached over and handed Neela a tissue. "Sometimes real life doesn't have fairy tale endings."

"Look at you and Luka." Neela pointed.

"Yes, but I had to go through my share of drama. I lucked out, Neela. But, I had to go through Ames kidnapping and torturing him before I truly realised what Luka meant to me. Ray now knows you love him and that he got drunk for no reason."

"That doesn't matter, though, Abby. He's married." Neela felt the tears. "And it's not to me."

"You saw yourself married to Ray?" Abby's voice sounded surprised.

"Yeah. Just before I left for the Surgeon's Conference. I had spilled something on my shirt and Ray wiped it off." Neela smiled in memory. "In one moment, one tiny second, I thought of what our children would look like, wondering if they'd inherit his hazel, sometimes green, eyes." Neela wiped another tear. "That was the night I knew I had to move out because if I didn't, I'd break my vows to Michael."


	7. Katey's Return

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

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Erin looked at the stick again. _NO! This cannot be happening!_ She closed her eyes, hoping that if she kept them closed long enough, it could change the result. She opened them up after a couple more seconds and looked at the stick again. Two pink lines stared up at her, making her think they were almost mocking her. _Great. Just fuckin' great!_ She threw the stick in the garbage. She fixed her hair and left for work. "I'll see you when I get home, babe." She sat on the edge of the bed and kissed Ray's forehead. "Enjoy your day off."

Ray smiled up at her. "I will. Think I'll go talk to an old friend today. Have a good day at work and I'll see you when you get home. I love you."

"I love you too." She leaned down for one more kiss.

Ray watched her leave and waited before the door closed before attempting to move. He hoisted himself up in bed and ran a hand through his hair. The previous night, he admitted to himself, the sex with Erin had been nothing but earth shaking, but he couldn't seem to shake Neela from his mind. As he made love to his wife, he could only see Neela's face.

He reached to the bedside table and picked up his cell phone. He hesitated for a moment before dialing. "Hey. It's Ray."

"I heard you were back."

"Can we talk?"

"Well, we're on the phone."

"No. Face to face?"

"Sure. Where?"

"My place?"

"Where do you live now?" Ray gave the person on the other end of the phone his new address and directions. "Give me about 10 minutes and I'll be there, okay?"

"Okay." Ray shut the phone and put his prosthetics on and made his way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

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Erin sat in the Doctor's Lounge, talking on her cell phone. "Yes, it came back positive…I don't know. I know that I don't want it…You know Ray. He'd be head over heels excited about it…Yeah…I know…So, when's the visit?" Erin looked up as Neela walked in. "My mom. She wants to come and see how Ray and I are doing up here." Erin explained.

Neela looked at her. "Do you think I care?"

Erin stared at Neela, who looked angry. "I'll call you back…Yeah…I love you too! Bye!" She shut her phone and stood up. "What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem, actually. I just don't care that your mum wants to come up and visit." Neela crossed her arms. "But, it does make me wonder why you felt the need to explain it to me."

"I know that you and Ray are…were…close and I thought that when my mom came up, you might like to join us for dinner." Erin smiled.

"I'd rather be hit by a truck." Neela snorted.

"Fine." Erin walked out. She grabbed a chart and headed to see a patient.

"She okay?" Pratt's voice caused Neela to jump.

Neela merely shrugged. "Don't know. She seemed rather nervous for talking to her mum. I wonder how well they get along, Greg."

Pratt smiled. "Well, your shift is almost over and we're slow, so go. Go home and relax. You've had a pretty hard couple of days." Pratt poured himself some coffee. "I mean it, Neela. Get some rest. You've done enough doubles for a while."

"Thanks, Greg." Neela smiled.

"Welcome. Now, go on. Get out of here." Pratt laughed.

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Ray answered the door. "Thanks for coming."

Katey smiled as she walked in. "No problem. Though, I am surprised you called."

Ray closed the door behind him. "Can I get you some coffee or anything?"

"Coffee would be great." Katey looked around. "Nice place. You and Erin seem to be doing well." She sat down on the couch. "How is she, by the way?"

Ray handed her a cup of coffee. "She's Erin and that's all you can really say about that."

Katey took a sip as Ray sat on the chair opposite of her. "I was rather surprised to find out you and her actually got married."

"You didn't think I was marrying you, did you?" Ray winked at her.

Katey laughed. "No. I knew you'd never love me. However, I am wondering why you married Erin. She had just broken up with Brandon the day after your mom smacks you out of your pining over Neela pity party."

Ray shifted in his seat. "I know, but me and Erin, we're meant to be, I guess."

"You guess?" Katey nearly spit out her coffee. "You're not supposed to _guess_ that you're to be meant for someone. You're supposed to _know_. Like you and Neela. You two _do_ belong together and _are_ meant for each other. I knew that the minute I got involved with you." She sat forward. "You don't find it odd that…"

"I didn't call you over here to talk about Erin and the oddity of it all." Ray spat. "I never really got the chance to thank you for everything you did for me despite what I did to you."

"That's what friends are for, Ray." Katey smiled as she sat back. "I was hurt when you didn't call or whatever, but when you called after the accident, it made me realise what a great friend you were and how close I came to losing you, knowing our last words would have been angry words."

"Well, thanks." Ray smiled at her. "For everything."

"You're more than welcome, Ray."

"So, Katey, how have things been?" Ray tried to make casual conversation. Katey softly laughed. "What?"

"Nothing." Katey smiled. "It's just that I don't talk to you for a year and now you're here acting like nothing happened."

"Sorry." Ray mumbled.

"No. It's okay. In fact, I'm glad." Katey put her coffee down on the table and leaned forward. "I like that you feel we can talk again. Means that you're back."

Ray looked at her, puzzled. "I'm back?"

Katey nodded. "Yeah. Before the accident, you and I could talk about anything. Then you didn't call and I was angry."

"Did I say I was sorry?"

"That's not the point, Ray." Katey leaned back. "I know you never talked to me the way you were able to talk to Neela, but you and I could always talk. When you were home, you had changed. You weren't so open and talking to you was like talking to a dead horse." Ray rolled his head. "It's not that we didn't understand, Ray, because we did. We all tried to put ourselves in your shoes. How would we respond if this were us? But, now? Now you're back. You weren't…" She looked up as the door opened.

"What are you doing here?" Erin slammed the door, looking at Katey.

"Ray called me over." Katey stood up.

"I thought I told you that I didn't want you around Ray or me." Erin kept her voice low, though the anger rose.

"Why? Think I'll tell Ray everything?"

"Excuse me. Ray's sitting right here." Ray stood up. "I can hear everything you're saying."

Erin looked at her. "Why did you call her over? You know…"

"Because I had some things I needed to tell her." Ray crossed his arms. "I've known Katey for a while and…"

"I told you I don't like her and I don't want her around."

"Well, I'll get my coat and I'll leave then." Katey put her coat on and faced Erin. "But be sure to play nice. Because if I were to really tell Ray everything, how long do you think you'd have your claws in him?" Katey smiled. "See you later, Ray."

"Yeah." Ray closed the door behind Katey and looked at his wife. "What does she know that I don't?"

Erin shrugged. "I don't know."

"She knows something." Ray walked to the kitchen.

"She still loves you, Ray, and would do anything to destroy our marriage." Erin followed him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "But, don't let her."

Ray faced her. "I won't." He kissed his wife while Katey's words echoed in his head.

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Katey found her way to the Doctor's Lounge and saw Neela looking at an old tattered medical journal. "Hey." She tried to be as nice as possible.

Neela looked up. "Katey, we need to talk."

"Yeah. I think we do." Katey poured a couple cups of coffee and handed one to Neela. "I just came from Ray's."

"Oh? How's he doing?" Neela tried to sound interested without sounded too much so.

"He's fine." Katey sat opposite of Neela. "What do you think about Erin?"

Neela shrugged. "I don't like her, really. Like just before shift, she was on the phone and felt she had to explain to me it was her mum."

"Well, I don't think it was." Katey sighed. "I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye and that there has been this sort of unspoken tug of war for Ray, but I'm willing to put it all aside to bring Erin down."

"What's in it for you?"

"Doesn't matter." Katey sighed. "Look, I knew from the moment I saw you and Ray that you two are meant to be and Erin hates me beyond all belief. The one thing you and I have in common is that we both care a great deal for Ray and would do whatever we could to protect him, right?" Neela nodded. "I have a few things to continue to sort out, but I want to know that you and I can put aside whatever differences we have with each other for Ray's sake."

Neela stuck her hand out. "I'll give it a go."

Katey shook Neela's hand. "Right. First thing's first. We have to get whoever she was on the phone with to visit."

"How do we do that?"

Katey smiled. "Simple. Very simple."

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Gates finished signing off a chart before leaving. "Hey, Katey." He winked. "Care to go get a cup of coffee?"

"Sorry, Gates." Katey shrugged. "I just got on shift and between getting ready for work and the lounge, I've had plenty."

"I noticed you and Neela weren't killing each other in there or did I miss the whole mud wrestling part?" Gates flashed a smile.

"You're pathetic, Gates." Katey grabbed a chart and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but you love it." Gates replied as she walked away. "Hey, Abby!"

"No can do, Gates."

"Sarah really needs me to be there. I can't disappoint her. Look, I make up for it. When do you need time for Joe?"

"Leave Joe out of this, Gates." Abby's voice was warning.

"Abby?" Neela's voice called out.

"Yeah?"

"Can I speak with you a second in the Lounge?"

"Sure." She looked at Gates. "Find someone else to cover your shift." She made her way to the Lounge. "What is it, Neela?

"What if you found something out that could destroy someone's life?"  



	8. The Arrival of Brandon

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

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"What sort of information, Neela?" Abby pressed.

"The sort doesn't matter. What matters is someone will be deeply hurt by it and I couldn't bear it." Neela sat on the couch, her face in her hands.

Abby sat next to her. "Ray's a big boy, Neela." She laughed as Neela looked at her, eyes full of wonderment. "I know who you're talking about. You have _always_ cared deeply for Ray and looked out for his best interest, even when he doesn't know it."

"What to do?" Neela returned her face to her hands. "He will be hurt tremendously by this and…"

"Who?" Neela looked up and saw Erin standing in the door.

"Pratt." Neela lied. "Seems someone's out to hurt him and he and I are old friends and I'm wondering how to tell him."

"Tell him. He won't believe you anyhow." Erin grinned an evil grin.

"This must be my cue to exit." Abby stood and left.

Erin inched closer to Neela. "Ray won't listen to a damn word you say. You lost out when you didn't visit him and now that you can't have him, you want him and I won't let you. He's my husband, so back off." Erin's tone was threatening.

"I won't." Neela challenged. "I care for him and…"

"Care for him?" Erin scoffed. "Where were you when he needed you?" Neela said nothing. "That's what I thought. You only care about him when it's convenient for you."

"Just like you, eh Erin?" Katey's voice was threatening from the door.

Erin turned around. "I have cared about and loved Ray longer than either one of you, so don't stand there and pretend that you have a leg up in this thing."

"What would happen if Ray ever found out?" Katey remained calm.

"Ray wouldn't believe you either. After all, where were you…"

"I was the one he called first. I was the one that helped him adjust to life without legs. I was the one that told him he'd better not die or I'd kill him. I was the one that was there for him first." Katey stepped towards Erin. "Just where were you?"

"What's going on in here?" Morris walked in. Noticing how close Katey and Erin were standing, he smiled. "Should I watch to see who's tougher?" Seeing a glare from Neela, Morris snorted. "There's nothing sexier than two women fighting." Katey cast a glare over to Morris, who held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry. As much as I'm sure Ray would get a kick over three women fighting for him, I must remind you that you are at work and we do have patients to see."

Erin shoved Katey with her shoulder. "I will see you later and trust me when I say Ray would never believe you."

Morris watched her leave. "Ray wouldn't believe what?"

"Nothing, Morris." Katey said as she left.

"What? Nothing?" He followed Katey. "You and Erin are ready to kick each other's asses and you say it's nothing?"

"Wait." Gates stopped still. "I almost missed out on two beautiful women fighting." He looked at Morris, who merely rolled his eyes. "Who's got the bikinis?"

Sam, who had been standing at the Admit Desk with Hope, slapped Gates. "Jack ass."

"What?" Gates looked at Hope.

"You're a pathetic idiot with…with…with no life." Hope felt embarrassed as she lost her train of thought. "You're just a sad lonely man."

"Yeah." Gates feigned sincerity. "I need someone to cure my loneliness." He looked at Hope, sparking a reaction from Morris.

"HEY!" Morris shouted. "She's my fiancée and you don't get to lay in her or on her. Only I can."

"I wasn't…"

"Why's everyone just standing around? We have patients waiting." Luka Kovac's deep Croatian accent echoed in the ED.

Abby grabbed his arm and took him into the Doctor's Lounge. "Luka, we may have a problem."

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Ray sat at the piano and tried to play. He hadn't played in so long and he was sure playing with prosthetics would make it harder than he remembered. He hit the first key when he heard the doorbell. "Hang on!" He yelled as he walked towards the door. He opened the door. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Surprise, dude!" The young man at the door gave Ray a hug. "What? Not so much as a how the fuck are you Brandon?"

Ray shook his head. "Sorry. It's been a crazy few days." He closed the door. "So, how the fuck are you, Brandon?"

"Better now that I'm in Chicago."

"So, the job at the Hôtel d'Jolie didn't work out?" Ray helped his friend with some bags.

"Nah. I talked with Erin a couple nights ago and she said that one of the hotels…Dude! You don't know?" Brandon shifted his weight.

"No." Ray crossed his arms.

"Shit." Brandon ran a hand through his sandy mane. "I thought she told you. Leave it to me to fuck it up. She invited me to stay here for a couple weeks until I found my own place. I got a job up here at the Tremont."

"Congratulations." Ray smiled. "Uh, yeah. We've got the spare room. It's the second door on the left." As Brandon made his way back, Ray yelled at him. "You want a beer or something?"

"Yeah. Beer would be great! It was one hell of a drive from Baton Rouge!" Brandon looked around. "You know, you and Erin need to start on having those beautiful babies you said you wanted." He walked out and took the beer Ray handed him. "Thanks."

"Welcome." Ray took a sip. "She doesn't want kids now. She wants to focus on her career first."

"Not a good sign, pal." Brandon sat on the couch. "She'll continue to tell you it's her career and before you know it, you're like my uncle. No kids. No wife. No nothing."

Ray smiled. "Yeah, maybe. Except, I found a pregnancy test in the garbage this morning."

"You look through your garbage?" Brandon nearly spit out his beer.

"No, jag ass. It was right on top." Ray laughed. "Two pink lines. She's pregnant."

"Will she keep it?" Ray looked at Brandon. "Don't play dumb with me, Barnett. You know how she feels. You can't let her know you know."

"Really? So I'm supposed to pretend I know nothing in order to…"

"No. Not exactly."

"Then exactly what?" Ray sat back at the piano.

"I don't know, but you can't let her know you know is all I'm saying." Brandon sipped his beer.

"Fine. I won't let on I know, even though I don't know what good it would do."

"Trust me, Ray. It'll do a lot better than you think it will."


	9. Erin And Brandon

Disclaimer:See Chapter One

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Luka looked at his wife. "What sort of problem, Abby?"

"Neela asked me what to do if you knew something that could destroy a life and I'm guessing it's Ray's."

"How is this going to be a problem?"

Abby poured a cup of coffee. "Well, I think the entire ER is getting ready to gang up on Erin."

"Why?" Luka pressed.

Abby shrugged. "I don't know, Luka. I just don't. I feel…I just get this feeling this isn't going to be good. And I know you're no longer Chief, but who else can I tell?" She sat next to him. "I can't tell Pratt. He's probably the only one, besides Ray, who likes Erin."

Luka shrugged while he looked around the Lounge. "Pratt has to be made aware of this, Abby. If he's not, he'll be running an ER that's more like a war zone."

Abby nodded. "I know, Luka, but how do you tell someone that?"

Luka smiled. "You've never been one to be quiet. You have always called things as they were and this should be no different. Tell Pratt."

"Tell Pratt what?" Pratt's voice caused Abby to jump.

"Look, Pratt." Abby stood up. "I just think that there's going to be a problem with Erin working here, that's all."

Pratt smiled and softly laughed. "Of course there's going to be a problem. She's married to Ray and I know some of you aren't taking that so well." Greg poured himself some coffee. "My biggest concern is Neela."

"Funny. My biggest concern is Katey." Abby mumbled.

Pratt turned around and faced Abby. "Katey? She's harmless."

"Not really." Abby crossed her arms. "Apparently she knows things about Erin that we don't and…I don't know, Pratt. I think we may see what Katey's capable of when she's pushed to her limit."

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Erin leaned her forehead against the door before turning the key. She couldn't remember the last time she had a shift this long. Every shot she got, she confronted Katey, and found herself amazed that the latter woman wouldn't back down. Erin was used to being able to intimidate other women, but she was frustrated that she couldn't intimidate Katey. Erin smiled as she heard the piano playing. _Ray hasn't played in so long that it's nice to hear him playing again._ She turned the key and opened the door. "Ray? I'm ho…" She looked at the piano and saw Brandon sitting there. "Brandon! When did you get in?" She greeted him with a hug.

"A few hours ago. Ray and I were getting all caught up. Apparently he didn't know you invited me to stay." His musky eyes stared deep into Erin's emerald eyes.

She smiled. "I'm sorry, Ray." She looked at her husband. "I guess things got so hectic and I thought I told you…"

Ray laughed. "It's okay. It's Brando. We both know he'd do the same for either of us. It's cool." Ray walked over and gave her a quick hug and kiss. "I'm just thankful he came on an off day for one of us. Think of what would have happened if he came and neither one of us were here." Ray kissed her forehead again. "How was work, by the way?"

Erin hesitated. She wanted to tell Ray about Katey threatening her, but she knew Ray wouldn't believe her as long as he had a beer or two to drink and she saw a few empty bottles laying around. "It was, well, it was work. I'm just glad to be home."

Brand smiled. "Well, it's been a day for all of us. I'm going to bed for now. I'm exhausted." He shook Ray's hand and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks, dude. I'll look for another place tomorrow."

"No problem." Ray watched as his friend walked down the hall, acutely aware his wife was as well, with a little more lust in her eyes than there should have been. As soon as he heard the door shut, he started to pick up the strewn beer bottles. "When were you planning on telling me?"

"Tell you what?" Erin snapped back to reality and looked at her husband.

"About Brandon."

"What about him?"

"You never once mentioned that he got a job at the Tremont or that he was coming up for a visit or…"

"It was supposed to be a surprise, Ray." Erin put one of her hands on his.

"For who?" Ray stared coldly at his wife. "You know I don't particularly care for him. So why offer our place for him to stay?" Ray wanted to yell, but he kept his voice calm.

"I don't know what your deal is with him, Ray. He's never done anything to you." Erin sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize that your hatred of him ran so deep."

This time, Ray sighed heavily. "Nah. It's okay. Maybe it's time I dealt with the past." He kissed her forehead. "I'm taking care of these and I'm going to bed. Got an early shift."

Erin picked up some more beer bottles as Ray made his way to their bedroom. "I'll be back in a bit. I need to unwind for a moment." She smiled. Once their door had closed, she waited for a couple seconds before slipping into Brandon's room.

Brandon smiled at her. "I thought he'd never go to bed."


	10. Neela's Confession

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

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Erin laughed silently as she straddled Brandon. "I know. Sometimes he just…" She stopped when she heard someone passing. "Shit." She whispered. The two of them stay perfectly quiet until they heard the master bedroom door shut again. Erin looked down at Brandon. "Now, where were we?"

Brandon ran his hands up and down her back. "When are you going to do it?"

Erin shrugged. "Don't really know. We'll think of something, I'm sure, but for now I have to think about what to do about the pregnancy."

"Haven't told him?"

"No. If I tell him, he'll know it's not his."

"How can you be sure?"

Erin sat up straight. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you should have been more careful when you threw the test out. It was right on top of the garbage and he saw it."

Erin leaned down and placed her face in Brandon's chest. "Great. How do I do this, Brand?"

"Do like _Faith_ did on _Third Watch_. Abort the baby and say you lost it or something like that. He wouldn't be able to handle it and we'll get what we want."

Erin looked up briefly and smiled and Brandon. "Now I know why I love you."

"Do you, now?" Brand smiled back as he rolled Erin on her back. "You'll just have to show me."

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Katey looked at Neela. They had been sitting in Ike's half the night pondering what to do. Katey sipped her coffee. "There's something you should know. If we're going to be in this together, than you need to know this."

Neela looked up at Katey. "What?"

"You know how I confronted Erin?"

"Right. You said something about what would happen if Ray found out." Neela sipped her now cool coffee and spit it out.

"Yeah." Katey sighed. "We're going to have to keep a close tab on Ray's physical demeanor. Watch for pallor changes. Slurred speech. Anything of that nature."

"You don't suggest that Erin wants to kill him, do you?" Neela nearly choked on the words.

Katey sighed. "Do you know anything about Ray's family?" When Neela shook her head, Katey continued. "Until I went down to visit, I didn't realise how wealthy his family was."

"She married him for money?"

"Yeah. I think she planned it from the moment they were little. She's not too bad off herself, which is what's perplexing." Katey sighed a little heavier this time. "But it's not just that. She and her boyfriend never really broke up. Brandon Eisenger has hated Ray from the time they were ten."

"Why?"

"You've seen Ray." Katey smiled. "He's charming. He's funny and he's quite hot."

Neela rolled her eyes. "I know. I think you told me that one time."

"But you already know that. What you don't know is what closed Ray off to life and love." Katey beckoned the waitress over and had their coffees refilled.

"What?"

"I was the closest he ever had to a long term relationship, which is why him marrying Erin is absurd to me."

"How do you know all this and I don't?" Neela blew on her coffee. She and Ray had talked about many things and opened up about things, but what Katey was saying was news to Neela.

"You never really asked." Katey put her coffee down. "Look, Neela, I want to put aside differences so we can help Ray, but I must tell you that you were rather narcissistic. It felt like you thought the world revolved around you and Ray, despite his love for you, felt that he couldn't tell you certain things because you might not really care to hear them."

"That's the fourth time I've been called narcissistic." Neela mumbled. "But if Ray had just…"

"He didn't feel he could." Katey leaned back. "But enough on that. Ray's our priority right now. Not who is or isn't narcissistic." She sighed, a little heavier than her previous sighs. "Ray watched his parents marriage fall apart and he watched as his mother had boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend. He watched his father go through women as though they were toilet paper." Seeing Neela's face, Katey smiled. "Ray's words, not mine."

"Oh, okay." Neela smiled back.

"He never thought love was forever. It really all culminated with your marriage to Michael."

"WHAT?" Neela nearly shouted. "How could he have thought…"

"Because if you love someone, you don't volunteer to go to another country to fight a war and leave them alone was his reasoning." Katey sat back. "I hated you because you were the one who finally showed Ray that love could be forever and then when you pushed him away and never made anything clear to him, I hated you even more. Even blamed you."

"I blamed myself." Neela mumbled.

"What?"

"For Ray. The accident. Everything." Neela felt the tears rise. "If I had only told him, you know, maybe all this would have been avoided."

Katey didn't know how to respond. She had never known that Neela had blamed herself for Ray's accident and she was sure Ray didn't either.

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Ray poured himself a cup of coffee and looked as the sun rose over the Sears Tower. Erin was still sleeping. He glanced at his watch. 3:30 am. He couldn't sleep very well when he got up and discovered that Erin was not sleeping on the couch. She hadn't come into bed until an hour and a half ago. He began to wonder what was going on. The past few days, Brandon had no luck finding an apartment and suddenly his wife wasn't showing much interest in him. Still, he couldn't make himself believe what common sense was telling him.

He slowly walked to the hospital, pondering everything from Brandon's arrival to Katey's accusations. He laughed as the soft warm rains came pouring down _Like something in a movie._ He thought as he adjusted his pack. He walked through the doors of County ER. Everyone greeted him the way they had greeted him for the past three months. It was no longer a shock and a surprise to see Ray Barnett back in the ER. _In fact,_ Ray thought as he hung his coat in his locker and put his lab coat on, _It's like I never left._ He was now used to working twelve to fourteen hour shifts in his 'legs' and they no longer hurt like they had when he first started. He poured himself another cup of coffee before his shift.

"Will you look at this?" Morris' voice echoed in the empty lounge. "Ray Barnett on time. Turned over a new leaf?"

"Couldn't sleep." Ray sipped his coffee.

"Wanna talk about it?" Morris poured himself a cup of coffee.

"When did you become concerned with someone else's life, Morris?" Ray smiled.

"When you were hit." Morris sipped his coffee. "ECH! How can you drink this stuff?" He threw his down the sink.

"I spent many years drinking the coffee you made." Ray laughed. "Means I can handle this shit like I handled your shit."

"My coffee wasn't shit." Morris protested.

"Your stuff was shit." Abby laughed as she entered the Lounge. She looked at Ray. "How's things going?"

Ray looked at her. "Things are okay."

"Talk to Neela yet?"

Ray leaned against the counter. "Now why would I want to talk to her, Abby?"

"Oh, I don't know, Ray. To talk?" She poured a cup of coffee. "Since you've come back, you've only talked to her in medical terms."

"If you don't mind, Abby, that's how I'd like to keep it." Ray put his still full mug in the sink and left, leaving Abby and Morris perplexed.

Abby put her mug down and chased Ray. "Come on, Ray. What happened?" She caught up with him and grabbed his arm.

Ray snatched his arm away. "Things, Abby."

"You and Neela used to be able to talk to each oth…"

"That was before, Abby. Now, if you'll excuse me." Ray headed out of the ED. There was only one place in the entire hospital he could clear his head and think. He made his way up to the roof. As he opened the door, he stopped. Neela apparently had the same idea. He sighed and made his way out.

Neela turned around when she heard the footsteps. "Hey, Ray."

"Neela." His voice was biting and cold.

"I think we need to talk, Ray."

"I don't think so, Neela." Ray turned and looked at the city.

"I'm sorry, Ray, for everything."

Ray turned and faced her. "You're sorry? That's all you can say?"

"What can I say?"

"You can tell me…"

"I don't know how and I…"

"That really is your baseline, isn't it, Neela? Never knowing what to do with anything. You had my heart, but you didn't know what to do with it, but you sure as hell knew…"

"Why are you so angry?" Neela crossed her arms and looked at him.

"You hurt me and your little apology two years ago and now doesn't change that. You said you'd visit. You never did. You said you call. You never did. You said you write. You never did. Sensing a pattern here, Neela?"

"You always were a stubborn bastard, you know that, Ray?" Neela wiped a tear and turned towards the door. She stopped in her tracks and faced him. "What could I have said or done, Ray, to take away the guilt?"

Ray, who had since turned to the early lights of Chicago, turned and faced her. "What do you have to be guilty about?"

"I couldn't visit or write or call…"

"I know. Work." Ray turned back to Chicago's lights.

"No. Dubenko knew and that's why he never approved my leave." Neela looked to the sky. "After I saw you in hospital, I blamed myself, Ray. You would have never been there if I had just told Tony earlier or sought you out or something. You're where you're at now because of me." Neela felt a few stray tears fall.

Ray didn't move. He didn't say anything. He stood there stunned that Neela would blame herself. _All this time I've been pitying myself and she feels she's to blame._ Ray thought as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Neela watched Ray for some reaction, but failing to see any, she turned back towards the door. "Dubenko knew what, Neela?" Ray's voice didn't seem so cold and she turned back towards him.

She could see that his face had softened in just the past couple of moments and she smiled a tear-filled smile. "He knew I blamed myself. We talked a lot after you left and he promised me that he'd protect me. As odd as it came across, I think he disapproved my leave in his attempt to protect me."

"Protect you from?"

"Me." Neela sighed. "There were moments, Ray, that he'd come in the Surgeon's Lounge and find me curled in a ball, crying. When Michael died, I thought I'd lost everything. I hadn't. Not even close. I cried all the tears I had for him the first two days after he died and then like that…" she snapped her fingers. "I was over it. When Pratt and I got into the ER after the shooting, I could only hope and pray you were okay." She wiped some tears. "I know I never made it very clear to you, but every night since I saw you in hospital, I cried myself to sleep. I tried bargaining with every higher power I could think of to give me one more chance with you. That CD you gave me hasn't left my CD player for the past two years. It's the first thing I listen to in the morning and the last thing I listen to at night." She wiped away some more tears and shoved a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I hadn't lost everything when Michael died. I lost everything when you did."

Ray looked at her perplexed. "I didn't die, Neela."

"The Ray I knew and loved did, Ray. I don't blame you for being hurt and angry at me or the world. I just don't have to like it." Neela turned back towards the door. As she put her hand on the handle, she heard Ray softly call her name. She faced him again. "What?"

"I blamed you, you know?" He leaned against the railing. "It was somehow your fault. When you chose Gates, it devastated me beyond belief. I loved you more than I can ever remember loving anyone." He sighed and softly laughed. "I'm not as good at this as you are."

"It's okay." Neela laughed back. "I'm not that good at it, either."

"When I heard nothing from you, I then justified blaming you. After all, you would have visited or something if you felt you were to blame. After all, when you needed me, I was there, but where were you?" He crossed his arms. "I had no idea you blamed yourself, Neela. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Ray. Remember how I pushed you away after Michael's death? I figured you owed me one." She smiled and laughed.


End file.
